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Lab Humor

Karlen McLean, ABOC, NCLC

To all you optical newcomers out there, I want to fill you in on some dastardly tricks that may be played on you by veteran opticians.

Practices with in-office labs may have to put up with infamous "lab humor." It isn't pretty, but it is funny. Laugh and learn, and play the same tricks on the next crop of newbies.

KRYPTOK OIL

Some of us grew up with bosses telling us that there was a problem edging kryptoks, and asking us to get kryptok oil at the hardware store.

Naturally, this baffled the personnel at the hardware store and you came back to the dispensary emptyhanded, greeted by laughter.

Since kryptok bifocals are virtually non-existent today, your boss may not ask you to go get kryptok oil, but some other type of "lens oil."

LENS STRETCHERS

When a lens is accidentally edged a little too small, the boss might ask you to look in the tool drawer for a "lens stretcher," a device that helps stretch the lens to fit the frame.

Of course you can't find the lens stretcher because it doesn't exist.

CREATIVE FUN

When you have some spare time in the dispensary, try one of these constructive activities.

Calculating slab-offs contest: See who can guess the lens power at 90 degrees. The winner gets a prize (lunch on the boss, for example).

Complex Rx challenge: Who can make up the most complex order? What's the most difficult Rx, specified base curve, lowest seg height, optical center height, wrap calculation, or tint and mirror combo?

Then guess how long the turnaround will take.

Creative lenses game: First, see who comes up with the most creative lens application. Then fabricate a lens "to order." The lens can be anything you can imagine: a rimless with 10 drill holes; a "heavy metal" lens with bolts, nuts, and other metal objects attached; a lens that looks like a face; and so on.

Valentine's lenses: Using an aviator-shaped pattern, cut the lenses once and then invert the pattern. Use hand edging to finish the shaping, and a little pink dye to make this a great gift for someone's sweetheart.

Tinting for amusement: Dare to go beyond double gradient. Try a cosmetic tint that looks like eye shadow and rouge. Or experiment with masked patterns like stars and stripes, or tattoo-like looks. EB

Senior editor Karlen McLean has been in the optical industry for 35 years. She has spent half of that time in the dispensary. In this monthly column, Karlen shares her own experiences, and hopes you'll share yours. Contact her via email at karlen.mclean@wolterskluwer.com.